I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
