Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
