What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
