dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
