I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
