"it" just moved
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
