please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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