Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
