I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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