Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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