Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
