you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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