I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize