The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
