my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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