I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
