His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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