He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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