I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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