I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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