i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
