white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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