I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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