We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
