pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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