I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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