where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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