I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
