____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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