I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
