i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
