do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
