We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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