his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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