I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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