Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
