Do you still have your period?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
