are you so shy because you have an std?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
