Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
