i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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