I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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