Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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