Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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