that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
