you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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