I understand Curling. That high.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You pole danced in your parka.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
