Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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