I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
