"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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