OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
