I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
