ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize