so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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