i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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