If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
