Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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