so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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