i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
