You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
