No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
