I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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