What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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