How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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