I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
