I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think i have two assholes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
3 2 1 whiskey
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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