Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
