I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize