I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
