I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i was born a porn star she said
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
