But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
