.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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